Leaping into a new relationship is never a good idea before you’ve managed to put at least some of the old hurt behind you. At the same time, you don’t want to lock yourself away from the world for months or years while you struggle to put the pieces of your heart and soul back into place.

Are You on the Rebound?

One thing you want to make absolute certain is that you aren’t setting yourself up for the typical rebound relationship. Rebound relationships are rarely healthy for either party and may leave you even more deeply wounded than before. Allowing sufficient time to pass before getting involved with another potential partner can lessen the risk of rebound fallout.

One thing you must do in order to move on is confront the past and recover from it rather than allowing it to continue controlling you. In most cases, this is much easier said than done but it’s a growing pain that will clear that path for better relationships to come.

Start Healing Yourself First

Time doesn’t heal all wounds (unfortunately neither does a half pint of rocky road ice cream) and there are times when it’s in your best interest to be proactive in your recovery rather than reactive to your pain.

• Love You First: The absolute best gift you can give yourself while recovering from a breakup and beginning a new relationship is to apply some of your time, strength, and energy into learning to love yourself again.

• Discover What You Love About Life: Filling your life with good things will go much further for your recovery and the good of future relationships than dwelling on the failures and hurt of the past.

• Seek Counseling if Necessary: If you’re having trouble letting go, then you might consider counseling of some sort or joining a support group. There’s no shame in this. Your self-esteem takes a hit when a relationship ends, particularly if it ends badly.

There’s pain and doubt that weren’t there before, and sometimes it simply helps to be able to talk your way through the hurt without the fear of judgment or condemnation. Counseling can also help you see yourself in a positive light as you’re trying to see the world with optimism again.

If you do this, your new romance will have a much greater opportunity to blossom and grow than if you jump in too quick and never deal with the hurt and anger from your past.

How to Heal:

Pick up a copy of How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life: This guide will show you how to go through a mourning period and then rebuilding yourself and your life in 30 days.

Click here to learn more and get a copy

Sometimes it’s not easy to admit it, but even if it’s not us, someone we probably know is or has been in an abusive relationship. There are many types of abuse and it doesn’t really matter whether it’s physical or emotional abuse – both leave permanent scars.

(Note: Important resource at How to Spot a Dangerous Man)

But It was Great in the Beginning 

Most abusive relationships don’t start out at that way. Things may be perfect at first (maybe too perfect) and subtle shifts start to occur with silent reprogramming by the abuser until he/she feels confident that he/she can control the relationship.

In most cases, by the time the abuse becomes recognizable, the victim has been so brainwashed that she or he (men can also be victims of abusive relationships) doesn’t recognize the actions as abuse and actually takes the blame for his or her predicament.

Denial is Common 

Victims often can’t be convinced that they’re experiencing abuse. They’re so busy justifying the behavior of the abuser that they don’t see it for what it is. In many cases, the simple answer is that it’s hard to admit you’ve allowed this to happen. But if you recognize some of the following patterns in your own relationship, it’s quite possible that you are in fact, a victim of abuse.

Signs of Abuse 

• Isolation: Have you been cut off to some degree from friends or family? Does your partner seek to drive a wedge between you and other people you’re close to? Does he make you choose between him and others that love you?

These are all signs of the beginning of isolation. An abuser knows that his power over you must be absolute in order to have the true dominance he seeks. Friends and family members are competition and potential witnesses.

• Does your partner control the finances? You should be equal partners when it comes to money matters. If your partner holds all of the power financially then he has power over your ability to stay, leave, spend money, and make decisions.

• Does your partner hit you, strike at you in anger, call you names, put you down, or make you feel inferior? These are all signs of abuse at the hands of your partner. Some insults are more subtle than others – as are some of the physical violence against you. Early signs would be your partner playing too rough and then becoming upset or agitated when you indicate that you’ve had enough.

This is by no means every sign or indication that exists for mental or physical abuse in relationships. Chances are that if you feel you’re being abused – you are! You can always seek advice and guidance at a local women’s shelter or domestic violence center if you suspect you’re being abused and would like help.

To Get Help:

To break the cycle of starting relationships with dangerous men, educate yourself by picking up your copy of How to Spot a Dangerous Man.

Run Fat Boy Run

This is the story of Dennis (Simon Pegg) who leaves his pregnant bride named Libby (Thandie Newton) at the alter after having a panic attack that he isn’t good enough for her.

After Libby moves on and finds a new boyfriend in Whit (Hank Azaria), Dennis decides it’s time to win her back by showing he can actually complete something he starts. In this case, the Nike River Run Marathon.

The Bad: The story is predictable and we’ve all probably seen a million movies with nearly the same story line. The title suggests that Dennis is actually fat, but his character is simply a little out of shape with a fake beer belly.

The Good: Despite the fact that you knew exactly what was going to happen in the movie, it was refreshingly funny and feel-good movie. You can’t go wrong with Simon Pegg and Hank Azaria had some hilarious lines (“Do you see my point?” – you’ll have to see the movie to know what I mean).

Additional noteworthy comedic performances come from the landlord, Mr. Ghoshdashtidar, played by Harish Patel and Vincent, played by Simon Day.

Learn More: Run Fat Boy Run

Posted: April 7, 2008

A few days ago, Naomi Campbell threw yet another temper tantrum after a bag went missing. She was ordered to leave the plane and then was arrested for assaulting a police officer that was attending the incident.

British Airways is considering revoking flying priveleges…who could blame them?

Campbell’s History of Violence

This isn’t Campbell’s first arrest or public temper tantrum.  In 1998, she attacked a passenger on a plane who filmed while she slept. In 2000, she attended anger management classes for hitting her personal assistant with a phone. But she didn’t seem to learn anything from the incident, as she received 5-days community service in 2006, for throwing a phone at her maid.

But It’s Not Her Fault – Apparently

Your Local Guardian reports that Campbell feels this latest incident isn’t really her fault and the police didn’t arrest her because of what she did. No, no, no…it all has to do with race, according to the delusional Campbell.

She’s quoted as saying, “It just goes to show I have to fight for who I am. It’s because I’m black.”

Yeah, that’s exactly it.

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Rental homes don’t always come equipped with the greatest of decor and many landlords aren’t willing to update just because you want a new look.
You could certainly pay to do it yourself, but it’s disheartening to think a lot of the work that you’d do only increases the property value for the property owner and won’t have lasting value for yourself.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t create your own unique style in a place that you’ll love to live in, even if you’re on a budget.

If you haven’t chosen the rental yet, here’s a few things to keep in mind before you make your choice:

* Ensure paint colors are neutral of match your furniture. If you plan on purchasing new furniture, ensure you can make the paint and furniture work together.

* If the paint looks like it hasn’t been updated in a while, colors are too bright or don’t suit your style, ask the landlord if he is willing to paint. If you want to make it easier for him to say yes, simply tell him that you’d be willing to do the painting if he provided the supplies and equipment.

* Make sure the flooring is clean, without damage and colors are suitable for your decorating style and colors. If there are any flooring issues, be sure to ask if they will be resolved before you move in or use area rugs that you can take with you when you leave.

* Make sure all windows have appropriate covering, so that you have privacy in your home. They should also be in a neutral color or at least match your décor. Work out any issues with window coverings before-hand or be prepared to invest in your own.

Even though many landlords will agree to fresh paint, you might be hard-pressed for them to do major remodeling throughout the home, but there are still plenty of things you can do to have your home suit your unique style.

Here are some ideas to make an average rental living space more spectacular:

* Add some life with brightly colored towels in the bathroom and kitchen.
* Add some throw pillows on your coach and bed for added color.
* Include some candles in your décor to add warmth and scents.
* Add some style to the walls with picture frames, mirrors.
* Find stylish and simple centerpieces or fresh flowers for your kitchen and living room tables.

Things to keep in mind:

* Many rentals tend to be small spaces, so keep it simple. Minimize the knick-knacks and clutter. Less is usually more, when it comes to decorating.
* Check with your local rental law to see what you can attach to the walls, floors, etc. It’s possible if you add permanent fixtures to the wall, that you won’t be able to take them with you.

Your living space need not be drab or boring. Just follow the steps above for a great-looking place you’ll love living in.

A full on renovation and redesign of your home might not be possible. It takes a lot of time and who has the money? Here are 12 tips to help you add style without all the time and money investment.

1. Wallpaper borders: You don’t have to paint or fully cover walls to add a bit more interest. Try wallpaper borders. They come in a wide variety of colors, patterns and shapes. The nice thing about many wallpaper borders is that they don’t use glue, but are self-adhesive plastic that can be removed when you want to try something new.

2. Try a Throw Rug: Rugs work well on laminate and other flooring. Even if you already have a carpeted room, you can add a brightly colored or uniquely patterned rug for a different look. You can place them at floor level, mid-level or up at the ceiling. Get creative!

3. Put Valances on the Window: A window valance is simply a small decorative curtain. It’s much shorter and it’s only function is to look pretty on a bare window or a window with blinds.

4. Keep Your Home Organized: Okay, that doesn’t really sound like a decorating tip, but the more organized and uncluttered your home is, the better it will look and the more comfortable it will feel.

5. Try New Ceiling Lighting or a New Lamp: It’s amazing what a difference lighting can make in a home. Update your look with some new lighting.

6. Add Color: There are so many ways to add color to your home. You can do it with towels, throw pillows, table skirts, folding screens, new bedsheets and more.

7. Paint Your Cabinets: Not ready for new cabinets? If you have wooden cabinets, you can easily paint them with acrylic paint made for wood.

8. Decorate Your Walls: Add paintings, framed photographs, art-work, candle sconces or whatever suits your fancy.

9. Add New Decorative Light Switch Covers: Forget about plain and boring white or beige light covers. Add some excitement to the room.

10. Add Cushions to Your Chair: Not only will it create a new look for your chairs, but it might cover up some of those scratches that build over time.

11. Change Your Door Handles: Door handles aren’t too complicated to change and come in a variety of styles and color choices.

12. Add Candles, Vases or other Centerpieces to Your Tables: You can try pillar candles in various sizes placed on a decorative plate, a brightly colored vase with fresh flowers or another unique centerpiece to add beauty to any room.

Not all home makeovers require a contractor and a dump truck load of money. If you have a bit of time this weekend, now is the perfect time to get started with these great ideas.

Changing career paths entirely can seem intimidating. However, every year, the number of adults in the workforce who have changed careers — multiple times, even — rises dramatically.

The average worker will make a career change three times over the course of their life, and it seems possible that number may grow even more.

Reasons to Make a Career Change

There are a number of reasons you might contemplate a change of careers, beyond a simple unhappiness in your current job. If you are unable to advance further in your current career, especially without a great deal more education, you may want to switch positions to one that can allow you to grow further. Your interests and abilities may have developed beyond the point where a specific field is able to hold your attention.

What Should Your New Career Be?

If you have decided on a complete change of career path, your next step must be deciding on your new career. The easiest way to do so is often to simply list jobs you have an interest in and begin eliminating them.

You might be able to eliminate particular jobs by considering the experience and education necessary (and whether you wish to spend the time required to acquire both), by considering the opportunities available in that field or by looking at your long-term goals.

Lastly, you might consider seeking out opportunities to try out a given field, perhaps on a temporary or volunteer basis, to see if you actually enjoy the work.

No matter what field you decide to explore, you will need to decide what skills you have that will help you in a new position and which you will need to acquire. You will need to create a new resume, pitching yourself to employers hiring for your new career path, and you may need to prepare yourself to work in a position with less responsibility than your last, at least in the short term. Changing careers can be a great deal of work.

Many individuals question whether changing careers is a viable option — whether it is worth it. It is an individual choice, but for those workers who are willing to put the necessary work into the process, it can be well worthwhile.

It is very important for you to plan your salary negotiation strategy before you get to the interview stage. Going in without a plan could mean that your prospective employer can take advantage of your lack of knowledge and hire you at a lesser salary, or you will end up with your ideal salary but too many extra responsibilities.

Here’s how some salary negotiation tips to help you come out ahead of the game:

Skills vs. Job Profile

You need to evaluate your skills against the job profile. That way, you know where you stand. Then, you should conduct some market research to find out what the salary range is for the position.

By knowing the salary range beforehand, you’ll have a good idea as to where you should start based on your education, experience and background.

You’ll also know if the company is low balling you – would you want to work for an employer that does this?

The Power of Persuasion

When you start negotiations, be firm but polite while speaking with your interviewer. Don’t get personal and maintain your professional demeanor. If the company is large and you feel that the salary they offer you is not enough, then you could mention the salary offered is equivalent to those offered by smaller companies; and since their company is large and the scope of responsibilities greater, you deserve a more lucrative compensation package.

This is where your persuasive abilities come in.

Convince them that you have advanced skills and experience, so you will be more useful to them in the future. The more you steer the negotiations towards how much the company needs your services, the greater your chances are of getting the salary you want. Also, always evaluate the total compensation package, such as health benefits, bonuses, and other incentives when you’re negotiating salary.

There is a very thin line between negotiating and haggling – so once you think that you have reached a fair figure, don’t be greedy. The idea is to negotiate, not haggle or force your potential employer into submission.

Have a definite plan in mind before negotiations begin – and you just might get your dream salary, along with your dream job.

Stress can build up, making us feel like there is no end in sight. This article discusses breathing to relieve stress to help you make it through some of those tough situations a lot more easily.

(Click here for a free Totally Tranquil demo)

Stress Build Up

Practicing focused breathing exercises can help you relax and relieve the tension you’ve built up during the day. Our everyday lives tend to weigh on use, causing us to be in a constant state of arousal, even if we have nothing to be excited about. This can cause emotional problems including irritability, anger, and depression along with physical symptoms like headaches and stomachaches. Relaxation breathing can relieve these symptoms. These methods can also be used to calm yourself before you go to sleep. This way you get more of a better quality sleep that leaves you feeling rested and rejuvenated.

Getting Started with Your Breathing

The first step is to find a good position to be in for your breathing exercise. Many techniques will suggest different positions including: the prone position (on your stomach), lying on your back, sitting cross legged, sitting on your feet with your knees facing forward, or standing. No matter what the method suggests, you need to be in a position that makes you comfortable. If you’re not comfortable, you’re not going to relax no matter how you breathe. So find something that works for you. You may also try periodically changing positions throughout your breathing exercises; in fact, some techniques recommend it.

The next step is to use proper breathing technique. Naturally, we tend to take short shallow breaths. Breathing exercises involve taking longer, deeper, fuller breaths. This type of breathing changes the percentage of carbon dioxide in our systems, putting us in a more relaxed state. To accomplish this type of breathing, you should be sure to breathe by pulling your stomach in and out (toward and away from your spine). You should also make sure your shoulders stay relaxed; if the shoulders are moving up and down, your breathing is too shallow. An appropriate deep breath should bring out the stomach, chest, and collar bone.

The appropriate deep breath is very slow. It’s best to allow about 5 to 6 seconds for each inhale and the same for each exhale; however, it’s more important for you to focus on your technique rather than your pace. Breathe in deeply through your nose, and exhale though your mouth. A common yoga technique is to tighten your throat when you exhale so it sounds as if you’re whispering.

Stay Focused on Your Breathing…Not Your Stress

Do your best to focus your attention on the breathing. The point of breathing exercises is to clear your mind of stress, not give you a better opportunity to focus on it. You’ll probably find your thoughts wandering; just try to bring your mind back to the breathing when you do. As you have more and more experience, you’ll begin to find it easier to focus on your breathing and relaxation rather than the hassles of everyday life.

You may also find it helpful to practice visualization exercises while you’re breathing deeply. Picture each muscle in your body and focus on it feeling relaxed. Once that part of your body is relaxed, you can move on to another part. You may also choose to focus on the stress physically pouring out of your body through your fingers and toes.

Whatever method you use, deep breathing is a great way to get to sleep or simply unwind at the end of a long day.

More Stress Help:

Total Tranquil Stress-Relief Program – Get rid of stress with these high-tech audios.