There’s been a 15-year tug-of-war going on inside my house and I’ve been losing most of the time…but now I’m determined that we BOTH win.
I’m talking about the battle of spousal metabolisms.
My husband has always been slim, has always enjoyed rich foods and regularly indulges in junk food.
As I got into my mid twenties, I found myself struggling to keep a svelte figure without dramatically changing what gained entry into my tummy on a daily basis. Now after the birth of our third child, I’m finding myself really struggling to get myself to a comfortable weight. I exercise regularly…but I’ve always had a hearty appetite and combine that with my husband’s love of rich comfort foods, I feel I’ve been fighting a losing battle.
I can say no to the junk food snacks he regularly eats. That’s not really an issue. But when it comes to meal preparation, we’re kind of at odds. He does a good chunk of the cooking so it’s the usual suspects then, but when I cook, he claims that healthier, lower-fat options leave him feeling unwell and unsatisfied soon after. And I usually bend because, hey – I love the taste of the comfort foods too (think anything fried, topped with cheese, creamy or otherwise).
Problem is – my waistline isn’t such a big fan and dear sweet DH is blind to it all (i.e. He knows the weight gain is there, but doesn’t care…but I do).
But you know what? I’m not going to do this anymore…I’m taking my slightly faded curves back! I think it’s important for me, for his long-term health and my kids as well (who are currently slim little guys following in Daddy’s footsteps).
Anyone else at odds with spousal metabolisms? Do share…PLEASE! I’ve actually instituted a plan over the weekend, but whether it works or not remains to be seen. I’ll post some updates very soon.
Absolutely! It’s totally unfair but true. Us women are just prone to having more fat. Men lose their pounds quicker and easier too.
Low fat dieting is ineffective though. Building muscle, balancing hormones, detoxing, increasing raw food, eliminating the bad stuff (sugar, processed foods, pasteurized dairy, white flour, excessive alcohol to name a few of the worst) will all help.
Most of us are actually DEPLETED of good fats. Raw fats like coconut oil, avocado, etc can actually help us to lose fat.
Of course if you want the easy way, take a look at my website and eliminate cravings and lose up to a pound a day. Alice: will send you a few samples if you like. Just ask.
Definitely on the fat, Sharon. I’m not eliminating the fat or really going true low fat – but he likes fatty cuts of meat (he doesn’t think chicken should be served without a skin…LOL!), creamy, fried stuff. THAT definitely needs to be reduced for everyone’s health. We are talking unhealthy fats or fats in large quantities.
I also don’t really have any cravings that I’m aware of. I like food and eat a lot of it…combined with his diet plan, that’s dangerous.
I’m working on portion size (my issue, not his) and choosing healthier alternatives.
Alice, I want to challenge your beliefs around fat. I urge you to get a copy of “Good Fat, Bad Fat” or “Eat Fat, Lose Fat”. Might shake up your world.
“He does a good chunk of the cooking so it’s the usual suspects then, but when I cook, he claims that healthier, lower-fat options leave him feeling unwell and unsatisfied soon after.”
That makes total sense to me. I keep finding more evidence that a diet low in fat is bad for our health.
But yeah, I get what you’re saying. It’s because they have more muscle. I’ve been changing my m.o. in the gym and lifting weights instead of doing aerobics. I swear my trainer got a twinkle in his eye when I told him I wanted to stop working out like a girl.
Hi Carrie, I don’t think there’s anything to challenge. Read my response to Sharon as I’m talking about reducing those bad fats. I’m talking about fatty meats, constantly fried foods, etc….that is what I’m trying to reduce.
The follow-up to this post is here:
http://schmoozins.com/comfort-foods-healthy/5522 – these are not fat-deprived meals by any means.
As far as my husband complaining he feels unwell, he’s the pickiest eater you’ll every meet. He has some pretty serious digestive issues and perhaps some of the foods he eats give him temporary comfort…they are causing him long-term trouble. I am not trying to deprive him, but help the family adjust to healthier eating that would probably meet your approval.
But perhaps you do think his diet plan is better than my lower/alternate fat plan:
- Must have a sugary cereal in the morning or doesn’t feel well. Captain Crunch, Sugar Crisp, Corn Pops…whatever. And no, I don’t eat this crap and never have…LOL.
- When he was working outside the home, lunch was the drive through (burgers, fries) every single day. He is slowly weaning himself off that. Now eats canned soups, grilled cheese sandwiches, frozen pizza, etc.
- Dinner is often fried pork chops, chicken with skin, Hamburger Helper, sausages, bacon etc. Sides are rice-a-roni, packaged scalloped potatoes. Prefers canned veggies over fresh. No vegetarian meals…EVER.
Carrie and Sharon, my friends. CHANGE is in order here.
By the way, lost 5 pounds last week and only look 4 months pregnant, instead of 5 now.
On the exercise…yeah, weight bearing exercises have a lot of benefit for women, including improving bone density. I split my time at the gym between cardio and weights. And now that I’m starting to see the affects of age on my body (man, it all seemed to come at once), I know I have to stick with it.
Congrats on the 5 pounds Alice! That’s awesome. That exercise will pay off too. I always found it rather unfair that exercise takes so long to really show up but after a month or so it actually does.
Your husband has some pretty bad eating habits. Kudos to you for stepping in and taking charge. I’m living on a lot of smoothies these days. I just bought a Vitamix and everything just goes in there. I’ve made hummus, soups and every conceivable type of smoothie in it. I may just give up cooking entirely! I’m in love!
Thanks Sharon. I have always exercised, but it’s the food that always makes the difference for me. I could work out 5 times per week (and often have), but it always comes down to eating better and now’s the time.
Hi Alice!
For me it was the opposite. Emphasize was. For many years I was able to eat anything and everything! While hubby had to endure watching… shaking his head telling me once I hit 35 I’d be changing my tune.
He was right — and like you it hit me on the head like a hammer. Before becoming prenant with baby #4 I had found myself gaining wait… but when I got pregnant I also became very sick with a liver issue… (ICP, which greatfully goes away when the pregnancy ends). As a result I actually LOST weight in that pregnancy. It’s only been over the past several months that I’ve begun gaining again — and by the time I reluctantly weighed myself – wow! I was up 30 pounds from my regular weight!
I started SparkPeople.com last week – I like their database and tools. So… so far I’ve taken off 4 pounds, but having witnessed the struggle hubby has had over the years I’m not an idealist about this. I like having more in common with him now though, and love tackling the issue together. I wish I’d been more in tune years ago…
UGH! He does need some work. Those breakfast cereals are bad, bad, bad. Especially for anyone with digestive issues. Have him Google “extruded grains” to find out why.